Survival Tips

Para o caso de algum dia se virem metidos num filme de terror, algumas dicas preciosas:

2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
10. If you’re searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it’s just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
40. If you manage to lose a few body parts along the way, don’t despair. Take this opportunity to replace them with weapons, such as chainsaws, harpoons, etc.
59. Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer.
67. Never, under any circumstances, go to summer camp.
70. If you throw away some possession of yours (antique dolls and ventriloquist’s dummies in particular), and you find it again in your house/car/pockets/etc. move to another country immediately.
96. Stay away from ‘quaint’ hotels and inns. Go for the brand names.
304. If the young girls of the neighborhood sing songs about boogeymen while jumping rope, consider moving.

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